Good Things Shouldnt Die

I had been facing a little dilemma in my head for a few months, wondering if being nice to people is even worth it. It takes so much effort and drains you too at times. You keep running for people if they are sick or unable to do certain things, using your time for the things you could use simply for fun watching Netflix. For quite some time, since I have started living alone and getting to know so many people and after seeing things with my own perspective, I have been able to understand how important it is to be kind. I am not even Mother Teresa; I just had such a different mindset where I had developed a sense that being helpful to people was considered a stupid act of kindness for me, that now I feel I have realized how maintaining a balance between the two polar thoughts which is being ultra-practical and an ultra-emotional being is so important, but a greater inclination towards kindness and being helpful is required.

I wasn’t always hating on kindness. It all began when I was younger, 4 years back, I had faced many predicaments in my life as an 18-year-old where I thought it’s best to be unkind, to not think about others, and only be bothered for ourselves. I would think of my dad as being a stupid person thinking of helping others when his own boat was drowning. I used to get so angry that I developed a sense of aversion towards kindness. I could see how my dad would be going through so much, making extra efforts and being so thoughtful, to the extent that he is cleaning our society and planting trees for the good of all. I have also seen him lend money to people when he himself didn’t have much at the time. He has risked his life to help our neighbors during covid by giving them what they needed at their doorstep too. I would look down upon his efforts, thinking he is being stupid for doing all that. I used to think it's easier to give your share when you have it yourself, but when you hardly have it still giving out to people, emptying your vessels just to help people is what I learned from my dad.

4 years later, I am realizing there are so many things in life other than just being happy with yourself. It’s also about sharing others’ sadness, lessening the burden for them, and multiplying their happiness manifolds. Having greater sympathy and empathy for people around you, who are close to you and deeply thinking about their feelings. Taking action and saying words that don’t hurt them. Being more thoughtful and helpful. I came to this realization by being close to a person who is so similar to my dad in this regard. And at an age where everyone is trying to maximize their fun and happiness, I am seeing them trying to be so kind to others.

Everyone is going through struggles in life that we are unaware of. Most people would want to shut out themselves for their own peace of mind, and be with people who “benefit” them. I am not saying it’s wrong to have your own time for happiness and also the time to work on yourself, but it is definitely wrong to ignore the goodness of being kind and how little acts of it can help someone take a huge leap ahead in their lives.

People can be ‘kind’ as long as it's not bothering them much, but being kind even if it gets hard for you is what is the real purpose of our lives. I have always looked up to my dad for being a righteous man, being helpful to society, the company he worked in, and the business he runs even if the people around him didn’t treat him the same way.

Since I have started living alone, I can see how much people look up to others for support and motivation. I realized me merely smiling at them makes them feel good. If this is all it takes as a bare minimum to help someone, then smile at a stranger and make them realize they too have a smile hidden inside them. Make an effort to ask how they are doing, and make an extra effort to offer them a cup of tea and chat with them.

I am not saying be so gullible that someone starts misusing you or you start living miserably yourself. But don’t ignore the small acts of kindness even if it forces you to make an extra effort for people. Make that effort. The world needs more kindness. It is becoming a place where all people are concerned about is having their own good time and being free. But the ultimate aim of humanity is for us to be more empathetic and helpful to people. That doesn’t mean we won’t do things we have to do, do that too. In fact, when we pray to God, instead of asking for things which are very much in our control, what should we ask from God is the strength to also manage ourselves along with managing people who need help from us. 

At the end of this letter to all those who read this, take a moment to appreciate the moments when people stood up for you, fill yourself with gratitude and positive energy for them, and energize yourself to help more people around you in whatever best way you can. Be their emotional support at the least, pass on positive words to them, and be an example to them that kindness is worth it, make them believe in miracles through your efforts and hard work because miracles happen with those who believe in the miraculous.

Shambhavi this side, signing off